Pokka Coffee — "Aromax Espresso"

by Julia Haslauer

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What you should do if chosen to review Pokka’s “Aromax Espresso”:
Admire the cardboard box that it was sent in. Be amazed that it came all the way from Tokyo to your college in New Hampshire. Save the Japanese newspapers it was carefully wrapped in. Put the little note that came with it on red construction paper with the caption “Japan Loves Julia!” Hang it on your wall. Debate on opening the coffee now or later. Open it now. Taste it. Notice that it tastes like sweet water with a hint of espresso. Rather bland. After a couple sips, feel free to take pictures of the can that it came in because it’s so damn cool.

  

What you should not do if chosen to review Pokka’s “Aromax Espresso”:
Note that one of the only bits of English on the can says “Hot & Cold.” Decide to pour it in a Tupperware container because you have no actual cups in your dorm room. Microwave it for forty-five seconds. Your damn cool first canned Japanese coffee now tastes like hot, sweet water with a hint of cat food.

Way to go, Julia. Now you feel slightly sick. Japan is ashamed.

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