The craft and ritual expected of barista stateside may not translate through the myriad vending machines in Japan. Yet and still caffeine overdose is quickly becoming the universal tongue.

We were locked-up in hotel suite, photoshoot after interview. Our hosts at Phantom Films keeping a steady supply of Starbucks coming in — grinding my teeth was that much easier.

On a rare break, I prowled the streets a rainy night in Shibuya. It wasn't hard to feel alone, but not the crowded loneliness I crave. I climbed the stairs of the jazz-kissa Volontaire. The turntable emitted the strange mercurial light of Charlie Parker. But no piping-hot java. More green teas than I ever imagined. I needed that shimmer of protective vitality that matched the turtle humps of umbrellas I had left on the streets.

Back in San Francisco, craving that world of cloudy streets and never-alone radiance, a Glamorous Body with vending machine track marks may be the answer to all my prayers.

Packing a wallop of sugar and caffeine that would keep even Lenny Bruce's eyes peeled, Glamorous Body is both. True to its name I caught that familiar wave of the congested solitude with clarity. With the miraculous blend of sweet cream and sugar in full effect, all five of me got along fine again. Very in the realm of the Starbucks double shot, something pushing the caffeine, riding the eight ball, snapping my fingers and riding suspicion, I am ready again to hide my glamorous body in a downpour of inadvertent notoriety. In Tokyo, where cumming is going, me and my Glamorous Body are ready…

JT LeRoy is a coffee, white & green tea imbibing, dark dark chocolate chowing collective of creative DuChamp troublemakers congregating in California and must be stopped or the world is in like even like way more grave danger.

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