Boss — "Rainbow Mountain Blend"

by David Cady

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They say you can tell a lot about a man by the type of coffee he drinks. The Greeks, for example, sang epic hymns — known in some circles as "Thathaseses" — about how stouthearted men tend to prefer robust coffees. In the U.S. state of Montana, men who drink instant varieties are derided as "shammies" by their elders and "tan raccoons" by a lot of the womenfolk. Famously, the Italians will break out into a kind of jazzy shuffle around men thought to be drinking decaf. This frustrating "dance" typically involves the slackening of the jaw, bowing of the knees, snapping of the fingers and the emission of short, breathy exhalations that never quite evolve into words. It is frightening to behold and can do a twelve-year-old's head in.


On the slopes of Guatemala's Rainbow Mountain, arguably the world's most lackluster peak, people have this way of hooting while they drink coffee that is both haunting and irritating. The intensity of the hooting (or huffing, as some biolinguologists have gigglingly characterized it) is apparently directly proportional to the flavor of the coffee, i.e., an excellent brew will yield exceptionally loud hoots. This phenomenon has been documented in Japan among drinkers of Boss "Rainbow Mountain Blend" canned coffee. Ethnotheoriticians posit that the coffee must be "reasonably good" to induce such behavior. Intrigued by such reports, I decided to give it a try. Shortly after my first nip of this creamy elixir, I hooted. It was cathartic.

Discuss with other coffee lovers. (2)

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