Discussion of: Fire — "Seattle Roast"

by Ryan Boudinot

A lucid discussion of this fine roast.
November 16, 2005 12:58 AM
1. David

A list of Little League teams I played for:

Montana Recycling (lame green uniform, quadriplegic coach)

RC Cola (Awesome royal blue, light blue and white uni; never saw a can of RC Cola all season)

Al's Drive In (Honolulu, massive outdoor feast after every game, first encounter with octopus as a food)

Burger King (lame orange and black halloween uniform, defeated league bad guys Bob Ward & Son's while I was pitching, celebrated victory at Wendy's)

November 17, 2005 05:03 PM
2. Bruce Rutledge

Favorite Seattle cafe: Fishermen's Terminal Appassionato. No wifi, though.

Favorite little league memory: Forming my own team, called the Sluggers. We drew our logo on white T-shirts and challenged everyone we knew to a game. Finally found a team to play and played a total of 2/3 of an inning. Being in second grade, I hadn't realized how important a catcher's mask is in fast-pitch. Since then, I've had what the Japanese call a "high nose."

November 17, 2005 06:58 PM
3. Craig

Wanted to play little league but was 2 months too young and had to play t-ball. What a load of shit. It was so bad and boring and just plain dissapointing I never went back for little league the next year. What I should have done is taken my mom up on her cave-in to Karate lessons when I was shattered from the Little League denial. At least then I would know how to do a flying kick by now and could be a world champion underground kickboxer.

I have this odd feeling like I need to go buy some AllHeart School Uniforms.

November 18, 2005 06:35 PM
4. David

I'm going to come out and say what we're all thinking but are afraid to acknowledge: Ryan called us "bitches."

Jesus, that was a bold move. I've employed the "bitch" maneuver in more than a few submissions to literary journals and it has always ended uglily (remember the L'Underbar Review incident?! I still get menacing emails from the editor.). In the hands of a lesser wordsmith, "bitch" can come off as just plain offensive. But a true craftsman like Ryan transmogrifies it into a bon mot, or quote unquote "good word," as they say in France. This makes perfect sense, of course, because, as anyone who has seen his last name knows, Ryan is a Frenchman.

In closing, while I'm jealous of Ryan's ability to use the word "bitch" as a devastatingly effective term of endearment, I also stand in rictus-faced amazement at his deft phraseology.

June 15, 2007 05:34 PM
5. Ryan Meinzer

Does this mean that there is in fact canned coffee in America?

June 15, 2007 05:36 PM
6. Ryan Meinzer

...besides Starbuck's of course...

June 18, 2007 05:26 AM
7. Bruce

Nope, sorry Ryan. Seattle Roast is made in Japan.

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